PCSO … ‘He’ll be on World’s Dumbest Criminals in no time…’ (13 July 2013) …item 2.. World’s Worst Babysitter Gets Wasted (Fri., Jan. 17 2014) …

PCSO … ‘He’ll be on World’s Dumbest Criminals in no time…’ (13 July 2013) …item 2.. World’s Worst Babysitter Gets Wasted (Fri., Jan. 17 2014) …
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Pasco County Sheriff’s Office posted a photo of Matthew Oliver, 23, as their Facebook ‘Fugitive Of The Day’ on Wednesday.

But the man was quick to comment underneath his own photo, protesting his innocence and accusing authorities of slandering his name, much to the hilarity of other users.
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……..*****All images are copyrighted by their respective authors ……..
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…..item 1)…. ‘He’ll be on World’s Dumbest Criminals in no time…’ Fugitive caught after commenting on his OWN Facebook wanted page …

… Mail Online – Daily Daily … www.dailymail.co.uk/news

By DAILY MAIL REPORTER

PUBLISHED: 11:04 EST, 13 July 2013 | UPDATED: 11:38 EST, 13 July 2013

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2362600/Pascoe-County-Fu…

A Florida robbery suspect gave police an easy ride after popping up to discuss his own wanted page on Facebook, leading to his arrest on Friday.

Pasco County Sheriff’s Office posted a photo of Matthew Oliver, 23, as their Facebook ‘Fugitive Of The Day’ on Wednesday.
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img code photo … Matthew Oliver, a 23-year-old robbery suspect

i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/07/13/article-2362600-1ACBE3…

Social media presence: Matthew Oliver, a 23-year-old robbery suspect, was arrested after commenting on his own wanted page on Facebook

Facebook

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But the man was quick to comment underneath his own photo, protesting his innocence and accusing authorities of slandering his name, much to the hilarity of other users.

A couple of comments had already mentioned Oliver’s smile and mocked the size of his ears before he waded in.

The suspect, who is charged with robbing 0 and punching a man in a Family Dollar parking lot in December, claims that he was in hospital when the crime took place.

He wrote on the Facebook page: ‘You guys are going to pay for A. Believing a crack head. and B.

Slandering my name. I already heard about this whole thing and I was in the hospital the day of.’ Oliver claims he was hospitalized after an MMA injury got infected.

‘This is bull**** all I have to do is accuse someone and they get in trouble, Pasco County has nothing but fools investigating crimes for them that’s why these mix up happen,’ he added
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img code photo … Defense

i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/07/13/article-2362600-1ACBE9…

Defense: Oliver commented on the sheriff’s Facebook page, to the amusement of other users

Facebook

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Oliver went on: ‘I swear on everything I own Pasco County WILL be held responsible for this.’

His outburst came to the amusement of other users. ‘Ur runnin from the popo & post on your picture? Lol,’ said one commenter. ‘Really!?!? You’re not doing a good job hiding,’ continued another poster.

‘He’ll be on ‘World’s Dumbest Criminals’ in no time…’ chuckled another.

More…

… From ‘excellent sandwich maker’ to ‘office ninja’ and the man who listed ‘bear wrestling’ as a technical skill: Employers reveal the most ridiculous lines they have ever seen on resumes
… Knicks basketball star claims he was ‘actually abducted by ALIENS two weeks ago’… but after recovering with two burgers decided the experience wasn’t too bad

Oliver fired back in a number of posts including: ‘I’ve been in the hospital since the end of April its hard to prove something when I’m hooked up to Antibiotics. And now I’m out what do you think I’m doing?’

‘My innocence shouldn’t have to be proven when there’s proof on paper that I was somewhere else, the police should pay a little more attention to what there doing before they just start declaring people Fugitives and putting Warrants out.’
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img code photo … Humor

i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/07/13/article-2362600-1ACBE3…

Humor: Other posters found Oliver’s arrival on the page hilarious

ABC

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img code photo … Caught

i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/07/13/article-2362600-1ACBEC…

Caught: Oliver (center) was apprehended on Friday

Pasco County Sheriff’s Office

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‘This isn’t Nazi Germany, there’s certain procedures that need to be followed and I doubt any of them were,’ the suspect continued.

The sheriff’s office replied by simply asking Oliver to get in touch: ‘Matthew Oliver if you would like to discuss your active warrant, please call the Fugitive Warrants Unit at 813-235-6064.’

A few hours later the PCSO added: ‘I have verified that Matt’s post about being in the hospital is true. In an earlier post, I provided a telephone number for him to call us. If he feels he does not fit the definition of the word ‘fugitive,’ I will be hearing from him.’

It seems that Oliver didn’t contact authorities as requested. Sheriffs used information and comments also found on the Facebook post to apprehend him on Friday.
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img code photo … Fame

i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/07/13/article-2362600-1ACBEA…

Fame: Oliver’s Facebook interaction with the sheriff’s office has now been shared hundreds of times

Facebook

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img code photo … Oliver’s Facebook

i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/07/13/article-2362600-1ACBEA…

Fame: Oliver’s Facebook interaction with the sheriff’s office has now been shared hundreds of times

Facebook

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Officers wrote on the page: ‘Members of the Fugitive Warrants Unit observed Matt Oliver as he walked into an apartment wearing a T-shirt.

‘Moments later he came back outside where it is 80 degrees, wearing a camouflage jacket with the hood up. He was apprehended without any resistance,’ is how authorities described the end of the hunt.

PCSO told the Bradenton Herald that this is first time that a suspect has actively and publicly engaged with the agency through their Facebook page.

The original post has now been shared nearly 400 times.

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…..item 2)…. Not so fast! Man attempts to rob gun store with baseball bat – gets arrested instead when manager pulls out loaded weapon …

… Mail Online – Daily Mail … www.dailymail.co.uk/news/

By ASHLEY COLLMAN
PUBLISHED: 17:11 EST, 28 July 2013 | UPDATED: 17:29 EST, 28 July 2013

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2380519/Not-fast-Man-att…

A man in Portland, Oregon came up with the brilliant idea to rob a sun store armed with just a baseball bat and 9-inch knife – but was quickly put in his place when the store manager brandished his own firearm.

22-year-old Derrick Mosley entered Discount Gun Sales in Beaverton around 4pm Thursday, and smashed a display case to steal an unloaded semi-automatic gun.

The manager made quick work of Mosley by pulling out his own hangun.
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img code photo … Great plan! Derrick Mosley, 22

i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/07/28/article-2380519-1B06D4…

Great plan! Derrick Mosley, 22, attempted to rob a gun store in Portland, Oregon with a not-so-intimidating set of weapons

photo credit: none listed

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‘It is not known what Mr. Mosley’s intentions were once he had the handgun in his possession,’ a Washington County Sheriff’s Office press release said.

Police say the manager ordered Mosley to drop the handgun, baseball bat and knife, and lay on the floor.
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img code photo … Shattered glass

i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/07/28/article-2380519-1B0A5F…

Shattered glass: A police photograph shows the damage Mosley did to a display case when he attempted to steal an unloaded gun

Washington County Sheriff?s Office

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He then contacted police who arrested Mosley on charges of first-degree robbery, first-degree theft, unlawful possession of a firearm, second-degree criminal mischief.

Mosley is being held at the Washington County Jail on 0,000 bail.

More…
… Look cops! No legs! Police get big surprise when they arrest getaway driver in Brooklyn and find out he’s a double amputee
… Were the guests Lovin’ It? Fast-food fans hold their wedding reception at McDonald’s
… Mother, 35, and 18-year-old daughter arrested after breaking into post office

The incident in Beaverton is just one in the latest string of miscalculated robberies.
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img code photo … Discount Gun Sales in Beaverton

i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/07/28/article-2380519-1B0A5F…

Hold it right there: The manager of Discount Gun Sales in Beaverton was unsurprisingly carrying his own weapon when Mosley attempted to rob the store

Google

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Earlier this month a man in Ambridge, Pennsylvania attempted to rob a convenience store with a pellet gun.

The clerk at Moh’s Market pulled out a gun from behind the counter and kicked the attempted robber out of the store, and then continued to finish the rest of his shift.

Another robber in Marshfield, Wisconsin got more than he bargained for when the woman behind the counter at Wolf’s Grocery Store refused to yield to his demand to open the cash register.

96-year-old shop owner Margaretta Wolf, offered him a tootsie roll instead, and the robber eventually left empty-handed.

Read more:
Man brings knife, bat to gun store robbery

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…..item 2)…. World’s Worst Babysitter Gets Wasted, Passes Out in Cold While Holding 2-Year-Old, Then Smiles for Mugshot …

… Miami New Times … blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/

Riptide … Miami News / Crime / Sports / Debauchery

Reality Bites

By Terrence McCoy Fri., Jan. 17 2014 at 8:00 AM 11 Comments
Categories: Reality Bites

blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2014/01/candace_long_wors…

Candace Long just wanted to party. It was her birthday, after all. And she wasn’t going to let her babysitting job — or the frigid temperatures Florida had plunged into — stop her. Indeed, even after her solitary party had ended, and she was in cuffs for child neglect, she was still ready to go, grinning from ear to ear.
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img code photo … Candace Long, grinning from ear to ear

blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/long1.jpg

Volusia County

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Candace Long has just turned 28. And she might be the world’s worst babysitter.

The Volusia County woman’s troubles with minors began in 2005 when she was charged with two counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, county court records show. (The disposition of that case wasn’t clear.) In 2009, she was picked up again, this time for allegedly issuing a worthless check — a charge that wasn’t prosecuted.

Then things began to pick up steam, according to criminal records. In 2012, she was jailed for a night on charges of burglarizing an unoccupied building and criminal neglect. Last year, she vacuumed up a grab bag of additional charges — battery, disorderly intoxication, battery of a law enforcement officer, trespassing, resisting arrest without violence, and disorderly intoxication (again).

With a rap sheet like this, there was really only one job she could snare without divulging her prolific past: babysitting. Last week — just in time for her 28th birthday — the mercury plunged to freezing, and Long picked up a job for the night. And while the father went to run errands, Long began to party.

Hours later, a neighbor named Tom Fordham ventured outside his Daytona Beach house to find a blond-haired, chubby-cheeked woman who had a nasty bruise swelling against her right eye. The woman was unconscious, and she was holding a 2-year-old child, who was shoeless and soaked in urine.

He called the cops: "The kid’s not dressed for this weather," he told dispatchers.

When police arrived, they roused Long, who could neither identify the boy, explain why her face was bruised, nor what had happened. All she said: It was her birthday. And it was time to party.

She was charged with neglect of a child and remains in Indian Lake Jail, where she’s still smiling.
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img code photo … Candace Long, age 28

blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/long2.jpg

Channel 9

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Send your story tips to author Terrence McCoy or follow him on twitter.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
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