Creampie … Florida Loves Creampie Porn (Aug. 28 2013) …item 2.. Miami Herald Cook’s Corner — Snickerdoodles are a perfect treat for mailing (Thursday, 09.19.13) …
Image by marsmet551
In Florida, "creampie" is number one, followed by "teen" at number two and "milf" at number three.
Creampie porn is, of course, the use of delicious custard desserts in the sensual act of lovemaking. Wait, what? It’s not that at all? Let me just Google this and see for mysel–OH. OH MY GOD. OKAY. OKAY THEN. I … can’t with that.
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… marsmet49 photo … I Make The Rules … Saturday Night Live Comedy Skit (12/05/2009) Tiger Woods …item 2a / 2b.. Up In The Room (NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS) …item 1J.. Carrie Underwood: Before He Cheats (LYRICS) …
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… marsmet525 photo … Wild Body (1962) … Cinemax Life Needs …item 3.. Miami’s Ultimate Valentine’s Day Dinner Guide (Wed., Feb. 13 2013 at 8:18 AM) …
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…..item 1)…. Florida Loves Creampie Porn, and Other Things We Learned From PornHub’s Research …
… Miami New Times … blogs.miaminewtimes.com/cultist/ …
Sex / Fetish
By Ciara LaVelle Wed., Aug. 28 2013 at 11:28 AM
Categories: Sex/Fetish
blogs.miaminewtimes.com/cultist/2013/08/florida_loves_cre…
For years now, it’s been common knowledge that Florida is the worst state. Ask nearly anyone in the U.S., including plenty of native Floridians, and they’ll tell you: This place is just too weird, too corrupt, too conservative and contradictory and perverse.
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img code photo … creampie
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Flexyjerkov / Wikimedia Commons
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But when it comes to porn, the weirdest, most perverse pastime on earth, Florida falls right in line with the rest of the country.
And that line leads straight to creampie.
PornHub, "the ultimate xxx porn,sex and pussy tube," released a giant load (I’m sorry, I already regret that terrible pun) of research this week, detailing the pervy habits of its users in each state, including the type of porn people in any given state are searching for, based of the keywords they use.
In Florida, "creampie" is number one, followed by "teen" at number two and "milf" at number three.
Creampie porn is, of course, the use of delicious custard desserts in the sensual act of lovemaking. Wait, what? It’s not that at all? Let me just Google this and see for mysel–OH. OH MY GOD. OKAY. OKAY THEN. I … can’t with that.
If creampie porn sounds like a niche market to you, well, you’re wrong; "creampie" ranked in the top three for 30 of the 50 states, including boring old Nebraska, North Dakota, and even Rhode Island. It also ranks as the number two searched topic in the U.S.
The U.S.’s number one searched term? "Teen," which seems way more troublesome than "creampie" from a health-of-our-rapidly-crumbling-society standpoint. Hell, from that point of view, Florida is downright wholesome.
And that’s not the only reason to be proud, Floridians. PornHub data suggests that you sexy stallions actually last longer than the average U.S. citizen, too. (Maybe it’s your moral scruples. Hah.) PornHub estimates that the average visit to its site from Floridians lasts 10 minutes and 55 seconds, a full four seconds longer than the national average of 10:51.
Speaking of which, the next time you’re cruising for a one-night stand with a tourist, you might want to avoid New Englanders. Rhode Island, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, and Connecticut all clocked in at the lowest amount of time spent on the site, between ten minutes flat and 10:12. Maybe it’s something about that accent?
Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.
Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.
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…..item 2)…. Snickerdoodles are a perfect treat for mailing …
… Miami Herald … www.miamiherald.com/ …
Miami Herald > Lifestyle > Food > Cook’s Corner …
Miami Herald Cook’s Cornner …
Posted on Thursday, 09.19.13
COOK’S CORNER
BY LINDA CICERO
LINDACICEROCOOKS@AOL.COM
www.miamiherald.com/2013/09/19/3632618/snickerdoodles-are…
Q. I ASKED MY GRANDSON WHAT KIND OF COOKIES I SHOULD SEND HIM IN COLLEGE, AND HE ASKED FOR SNICKERDOODLES. CAN YOU GIVE ME A GOOD RECIPE?
C.B.
These are a great choice for mailing since they don’t crumble. I’ve tried many recipes, and came up with this version after a great deal of tinkering.
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— SAMOSAS
Ramesh Kaduru, executive chef of Bizcaya at the Ritz Carlton, Coconut Grove, shared a recipe for samosas like the ones he’ll serve Oct. 3-Nov. 3 at an Indian “pop-up” at the restaurant (see next week’s Nibbles & Bits column for details).
The most difficult part is preparing the dough, which I found hard to work with (many of my half moons looked like they had craters). Refrigerated pie-crust dough would be an easy shortcut to encase the outstanding filling. Spread the pastry round on a baking sheet. place the filling over half of it, fold the over half over to make a big turnover, and bake in a 325-degree oven for about 35 minutes, until golden brown.
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— ‘CHOPPED’ CHICKEN
Ted Allen of the Food Network’s popular Chopped will be in town Friday to headline a Miami fundraising dinner for the James Beard Foundation (see today’s Nibbles & Bits column for details). Allen shared the recipe here for his “simple, chicken-y take on saltimbocca.”
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— BAKE-OFF
For the first time in its 64-year history, the Pillsbury Bake-Off is asking members of the public to choose the winners. The voting for the final category, breakfasts, continues through Sept. 26 at pillsbury.com. There are six Floridians amongst the 60 semifinalists from 32 states.
New rules encourage simpler recipes: Submissions were limited to seven or fewer ingredients and must take no more than 30 minutes to prepare. It’s a far cry from the first Bake-Off in 1949, when ladies wore hats and gloves to the competition and everything was made from scratch.
Send questions and responses to LindaCiceroCooks@aol.com or Food, The Miami Herald, 3511 NW 91st Ave., Doral, FL 33172. Replies cannot be guaranteed.
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— SLEUTH’S CORNER
Q. I am hoping someone can help me find a recipe for a pumpkin bread that is made with yeast, so you can shape it. I had the recipe a dozen years ago or so, I believe cut from a magazine. It was not only delicious but you could turn it into a wreath shape. I took it to several parties and got rave reviews.
Elizabetta Garcia , Key Biscayne
— Cookies
… Favorite Snickerdoodles
… 1/2 cup butter (1 stick), softened
… 1/2 cup granulated sugar plus 2 tablespoons to finish
… 1/3 cup brown sugar
… 1 egg
… 1 teaspoon vanilla
… 1 1/2 cups flour
… 1/4 teaspoon salt
… 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
… 1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
… 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
Beat butter, 1/2 cup white sugar and the brown sugar with an electric mixer until no sugar grains remain, about 5 minutes. Add egg and vanilla; beat until smooth.
In another bowl, whisk flour with salt, baking soda and cream of tartar. Very gradually beat dry ingredients into butter mixture.
Form dough into a short, fat log about 1 1/2 inches in diameter, roll in plastic and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled, at least 1 hour.
Heat oven to 300 degrees. Mix remaining 2 tablespoons sugar with cinnamon in a pie pan.
Cut chilled dough into 18 pieces and press one at a time into the cinnamon sugar. Place sugared side up on an ungreased cookie sheet, leaving 2 inches between cookies.
Bake 12 to 14 minutes, depending upon how crisp you prefer them. At 12 minutes they look a bit undercooked, but will continue to cook after they are removed from the oven, and turn out softer and chewy in the middle. For a crisper cookie, bake the entire 14 minutes. Makes 18 cookies
Per cookie: 124 calories, 39 percent calories from fat, 5.5 g fat (3.3 g saturated, 1.4 g monounsaturated), 24 mg cholesterol, 1.5 g protein, 17.4 g carbohydrates, 0.3 g fiber 117 mg sodium
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— Appetizer
… Vegetable Samosas
Pastry:
… 4 cups flour
… 1 teaspoon fenugreek seeds
… Salt and pepper to taste
… 2 tablespoons clarified butter, divided
… 1/2 cup water plus more as needed
Filling:
… 1 teaspoon whole cumin
… 1 medium white onion, diced
… 1 tablespoon pureed fresh ginger
… 1 tablespoon minced garlic
… 1 teaspoon cumin powder
… 1 teaspoon coriander powder
… 1 teaspoon chili powder
… 4 small russet potatoes, cooked, peeled and diced small
… 2 cups green peas
… Chicken stock or water
… 1 bunch chopped fresh cilantro, or to taste
… Vegetable oil for frying
To make dough, sift the flour, fenugreek seeds, salt and pepper into a medium bowl. Add 1 tablespoon of the clarified butter and rub the mixture between the palms of your hands to evenly distribute, letting the fat-coated flour fall back into the bowl. Continue with remaining butter until the flour is evenly coated.
Add water, mix and work until the dough comes together, adding more water a tablespoon at a time as needed. Turn onto a lightly floured surface and knead for 4 minutes into a firm dough.
Divide into 5 equal portions and form into rounds. Roll as thin as possible. Cover with a kitchen towel and let rest for 30 minutes.
To make filling, heat a large skillet over medium-high and add rest of the clarified butter. Add the whole cumin seeds and sauté until they burst open. Add the onions and sauté until golden. Add the ginger and garlic and cook 2 minutes. Add the remaining spices and deglaze with about a tablespoon or 2 of water or chicken stock, scraping browned bits from bottom of the pan. Remove from heat and stir in the potatoes and peas, taste for salt and pepper and adjust, then fold in the cilantro.
Cut each dough round in half to make 2 half moons. Spoon about 2 rounded teaspoons of filling in the center. Brush the edges with water and fold the dough over the filling. Press the edges together to seal. Repeat with the remaining ingredients.
Heat the oil deep enough to cover samosas to 350 degrees. Add in batches so they don’t crowd and cook, turning, until golden brown, about 10 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towels. Serve hot, with tamarind chutney on the side if desired. Makes 10 servings.
Per serving (without frying oil): 304 calories, 9 percent calories from fat, 3.1 g fat (1.6 g saturated, 0.7 g monounsaturated), 6 mg cholesterol, 8.9 g protein, 60 g carbohydrates, 4.6 g fiber, 32 mg sodium.
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— Main dish
… Ted Allen’s Chicken Paillards with Pancetta and Sage
… 4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
… Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
… 1 large egg, beaten
… 12 sage leaves (8 whole, 4 chopped)
… 6 thin slices of pancetta
… 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
… 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
… 1 shallot, minced
… 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
… 1/2 teaspoon thyme leaves
… 1/4 cup dry white wine
… 1 cup homemade or low-sodium chicken broth
Pound the chicken breasts to an even thickness of 1/4 inch. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Turn over and brush lightly with egg. Press 2 sage leaves onto each piece, and top with pancetta (about 1 1/2 slices per breast). Press again. Refrigerate 15 minutes.
Heat a large sauté pan over medium-high heat. When the pan is hot, add olive oil and the chicken, pancetta side down. Cook until golden brown, about 3 minutes. Flip the chicken, and sauté until cooked through, 2 to 3 minutes. Transfer to a warm plate and cover with foil.
Add the butter to the pan, reduce the heat to medium and cook the shallot until soft. Stir in the flour, and cook for another 2 minutes. Add the thyme and wine, and deglaze, scraping up the brown bits; simmer 3 minutes. Add the stock and chopped sage, and simmer until thickened. Serve the chicken on a pool of the sauce. Makes 4 servings.
Per serving: 383 calories, 48 percent calories from fat, 20.7g fat (5.8 g saturated, 9.7 g monounsaturated), 145 mg cholesterol, 29 g protein, 5.3 g carbohydrates, 0.1 g fiber, 724 mg sodium.
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img code photo … Chicken Paillards with Pancetta and Sage Ben Fink … Image 1 of 2
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img code photo … Snickerdoodles Matthew Mead / Miami Herald File … Image 2 of 2
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— MORE COOK’S CORNER
… Snickerdoodles are a perfect treat for mailing
… Persistent professor tracked down A&W barbecue recipe
… Surfcomber chef concocts power-packed cereal bar
… Bountiful salad a great use for leftover rice
… Peacock Cafe shares flatbread recipe
… Mystery fruit could be nance or persimmon, readers suggest
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